Book Notes – Option B – Sandberg

(audiobook)

Stunt recovery

3 ps

Personalization – think at fault

Pervasiveness – affect all areas of live

Permanence – will last forever

Go back to regular activities quickly but with lenience, part time or acceptable reduction in performance

Stop saying sorry

Stop with permanence words always and never

Think how much worse things can be – brings gratitude in moments of sadness

Being grateful increases happiness per studies

People avoid upsetting events/questions – mum effect

Not talking/sharing makes it worse

Acknowledged pain from both sides offer support

Sense of control helps us cope ie a “make it stop” button not used but lower stress

Do something rather than asking if they need anything

Ie what do you not like on Your burger

We are going to get through this (vs you) – not being alone, being together

Resilience strongest with self compassion

Self compassion: Less anxiety, happier life

Study with self compassion showed 40% happier 24% less angry

Journaling therapeutic to write about problems – short term increase in stress but decrease in anxiety and anger long-term. Better physical and mental health

Less benefit to express feelings via art/dance better verbal or words

Contributions are active – build confidence. gratefulness is passive

Post-traumatic growth is possible

Sometimes focus so much on past/bad we don’t look at future – not end but impact on others

Survivor guilt – takes away joy – and impacts others as well

Embrace things that remind of lost person “take back” things

Response to embarrassment with humour – change how others react too, reframe situation

Resilience is built over time not just a static value

Children believe- Control, learn from failure, matter as humans, real strengths to relie on and share

Growth vs fixed mindset better for resiliency

Praised for smart – more fixed will give up earlier. Praised for trying – growth mindset will persevere longer

Feeling they matter is important

Hope and believing in new possibilities – take actions to make things better

Makes people resilient

Failure learning opportunities – don’t fear them embrace, create debriefs and learning notes

Safe to talk about them makes it easier to learn and grow

Ask for criticism, share it

Rate ourselves based on it + rate our response to criticism

Learn and growth