(audiobook)
Example of polish army officer who went to Auschwitz voluntarily to set up a resistance vs our modern ‘issues’
After war, spied on Russia GVT, Captured, tortured but resisted stayed loyal to his hope of free Poland even when he could have escaped to italy
We are insignificant in the scale of the universe/time. But we need hope to survive so we tell ourselves things matter. Opposite of happyness is hopelessness
Hopelessness source of depression, anxiety, obsession etc.
Religious people less suicide rates, likely faith helps move through unknown, know what is coming before and after.
The before and after gives hope for getting there (improving, succeeding etc)
Keep making Progress, longer lifespans, better conditions, less violence etc. But does not see that way, highest rates of depression, earlier ages, less life satisfaction, higher stress, more drug overdose deaths.
Need control, values and community for hope
Example, someone with brain tumor removed had no impact on cognitive ability but he lost ability to care. His life was destroyed, making bad decisions, no self control, became homeless, divorced from wife and kids.
Lose ability to feel – lose ability to make decisions
Lobotomy had same impact, cured people of anxiety but left them as essentially vegetables
Need more than willpower for self control, need emotions to make decisions
Self serving bias – what feels right is right
Can create delusion, we recall things that support how we feel vs how things actually are
Feeling brain quick, reacts with feelings. Thinking brain slow, take energy.
Bargain with feeling brain – wants something positive, if negative then try and get something positive
Fighting feeling brain won’t work ever.
Train how to work with feeling brain. Admit there’s no actual logical self control, we just need to help steer emotions in the right direction.
Every action, warrants equal and opposite reaction. Get a gift want to pay back/thank. If get hit, want apology/compensation etc.
Emotion drives equalization – sense of justice
We flip between thinking we are good and bad. We blind our own flaws while seeking those of others. When we fail we blame circumstances vs judge others.
Believe we are superior or inferior than others. Narcissistic behaviour.
Believe something until experience shifts our reality. Our bias on things will make us focus on only the aspects that reinforce our views
No change without pain or growth without discomfort. Lose part of ourselves and grieve when these things happen. Hope we had goes away – uncomfortable truth comes out.
Attract those with same values, repel those with different ones
But not all values are the same so create some conflict/tension. Rank some values stronger than others, more weight, harder to move.
People with same values, validate one another make them feel important/worthy. Become very suggestible – but perceive to be very much in control.
Start own religion – 1sell hope to hopeless
2- choose your faith
Religions: spiritual (hard, long lasting), ideological (common, competition, many don’t last) , interpersonal (very common)
3-pre emptively reject/refit any question or criticism
Us vs them, make common enemy, creates unity
4- ritual sacrifices
5-promise heaven, deliver hell
Promise something, when don’t live up, blame ourselves, keep trying instead of realizing it’s not working
6- profit for profit
Corruption of original values destroys
Master morality “deserve good things because of xyz”
Slave morality “deserve good things because don’t have xyz”
Both used in emotional brain – religion based on one or the other
Blue dot effect, the more you look for bad things, the more you find it, even if it is not
People perceive threats where there are none
Less face adversity, more see small problems as big
Study showed people on average rate their happiness at 7
Sometimes spike, sometimes dip but always returns to 7
So always looking to get higher, never fully satisfied. Only perception changes
Meditation, exercise
Understand pain is part of life
Anti fragile values as we mature and be adults
Death/pain necessary to give value
Marketing, numb pain
Feeling brain eventually takes over and make bad decisions
Seek ends not means (ie don’t use things/people to get to something else)
Stats/info/evidence important
Anti-fragility
Continue improvement, be better human
Leave a Reply Cancel reply