Overall, book is mediocre, reasoning and strategies are interesting but it could be much shorter or go more in depth and back it up with more research. Coles notes version is likely enough
- We try and please people even when it is detrimental to us.
- Don’t want to offend, dissapoint or seem selfish
- We want to help others, want others to like us and appear valuable
- We have low self-esteem, fear of missing out
- Adversity to conflict
- Saying no does not make us a bad person
Need to prioritise our needs or it will catch up eventually.
- Not responsible for other’s reactions
- Time and interests are valuable
- Start small with easy “no” ie. You do not want fries with that, and work up
Asserting allows us to clarify what we want, but do so without being aggressive or rude.
- Be direct and straightforward
- Don’t stall for time
- Replace no with another word
- Don’t offer excuses
- Take ownership
- Ask requestor to follow-up later (if situation improves you may be able to help)
- Don’t lie about situation
- Offer alternatives (option or person more qualified)
- Explain other pressures/limitations
Leave a Reply